As I think of relationship intelligence now and compare it to how the old folks did it, all of this relationship-educational blogging and hog wash we do now would make them laugh.  We have mastered the idealistic theories which in themselves scare us from having practical, realistic encounters. We spend more time navigating the internet and social media than we do with each other and honing our skills as a couple. The dynamics of being alone are different from those of being in a healthy, imperfect relationship. One cannot adequately prepare for a relationship by practicing or sparring alone. Relationships of old were formed on simple basics and maintained by the same.  Two people needed each other, committed to each other, stayed together and made it work.

This modern, Instagram knowledge lifestyle of 7 ways to make a woman love you, 10 ways to know if he is the right one or 15 traits of a narcissists, while sitting on the fence and not being in a relationship would make them wonder if we have gone mad. I see a lot of errors in what we accept today as right, especially as believers, am I alone in my reasoning? I see relationships like an athlete sees their sport. Some days it’s a 100 meter sprint, some days a 1500 meter run, some days a hurdle, some days a long jump, some days a javelin or a discus, some days feel like a triathlon, some days you pull up from an injury and have to sit it out for a month, some days you are cheered by your fans, some days you are booed. The key for every successful athlete and similarly for every successful relationship, is that you begin and don’t quit.

An athlete keeps going. Good athletes train and have goals. Better athletes work with a coach who sets their targets and hold them accountable.  The best athletes Trust God and do all three.  As we navigate our relationships, the first place to start is to begin.  Begin with he end in mind.  As a child I loved fixing puzzles.  One thing I learnt quite early from my mother, was that I had to keep the picture of the puzzle box in front of me as a constant guide. The picture on the puzzle box is the end result and the road map to keep us on track when we get lost along the way by trying to fit the wrong pieces into our relationship activities.

Having the right fit in a spouse is a given.  If we tried the complete a puzzle with the wrong pieces, we are surely destined for failure.  Knowing who and what we were created for is more than 50% of the journey to success.  Though this is critical to success, the other nugget I learnt from fixing puzzles, is that a piece on its own is easier to handle, than trying to fit it into another piece. One must study, focus, reason and figure it out. There is sometimes a tightening from the newness of each piece, effort is required to make even the perfect pieces slot smoothly and completely into each other.  One may have to look at the pieces, turn them around and color coordinate to achieve mastery.  As we work on the relationship puzzle, we learn to practice patience, endurance, focus and other traits that allow us to finish a beautiful picture.

As we begin our relationship journey, let us remember that the beginning, the middle and the end may have distinctive features and activities.  As time goes on, some things may increase or decrease.  It’s okay.  What is important is that we keep the end goal in mind as a constant guide along each stage. God paints a unique picture of marriage by modelling it after Himself and the church.  We have a perfect guide. We have a coach in Jesus himself, who gave himself up for the church.

May we look to the original picture as we try to connect the pieces of our earthy relationships. We can begin the journey with enthusiasm, we can stay the course with endurance and we can finish the race by God’s grace.  May God give us the grace to begin, the grace to maintain and the grace to finish.  Our relationships are not for the swift, nor a battle for the strong, but a race of grace for those who will endure until the end. Be encouraged to begin and to commit to the picture of the end.  Begin with a beautiful picture of the end in mind. Stay focused on God’s puzzle box of pieces and let it be your guide along the way.  Let your relationship story be a race of victory and grace.

My name is Cheryl Outram. I am a woman, mother, wife and christian. I serve as a Teacher, Counselor, Relationship Coach, Radio Personality, Pastor and Transformational Writer & Speaker. I do all of this to serve, encourage and inspire you.  You can win. I want to cheer you on and see you win in your relationships. I want you to maximise your purpose, power and your potential. Whatever I have learnt, I share with you and I hope it is of some help to you. May God bless you as you read. Thanks for reading. Please share if you think it can help someone else. Stay the course and you will win.  Call (246) 824-9288 to book your inspiring and transformational session. Let us win together.